Let's talk about day jobs- you know, that "supportive side hustle" that was supposed to fund your dreams but somehow turned into a full-blown hostage situation.
Currently starring in "Corporate Purgatory: The Toxic Mangement Chronicles", I've got a front-row seat to a workplace performance that deserves a Razzie, or a pizza party (which one costs less and takes no time at all to set up?) And Mangement? Oh, they've perfected the art of weaponized mediocrity. They're not just toxic-they're an airborne hazard. The kind of person who only "mentors" you if your lips are firmly attached to their behind like a barnacle on a cruise ship.
Spoiler alert: I don't kiss anyone's career cushion. Not in this economy. Not for a job that lists "teamwork" as a core value while rewarding sabotage like it's an Olympic sport.
See, the minute your Mangement realizes you've got ambition beyond the breakroom, suddenly you're the problem. They start hoarding opportunities like they're prepping for an apocalypse of competence. Oh, you asked about that training program? Cute. What it mysteriously "fill up" seconds before you try to apply. You didn't smile enough during the morning team meetings? Guess who's now "not a team player."
They don't want you to grow, they want you to stay. Right where they can see you. In your place. Smiling obedient, and underpaid.
But here's the thing: I'm not staying. I'm faking it "til I book it, remember?"
So to the Mangement who thinks they can sabotage my shine: baby, I've survived understaffed twelve-hour shifts, passive-aggressive emails, including having to justify my job weekly, oh and fish in the breakroom. You? You're just a line in the backstory of my memoir.
My dreams? They don't clock out. And neither should yours. Keep applying, keep plotting, keep your vision sacred. Because one day, while they're still playing power games in their sad little sandbox, you'll be living the life they tried to keep from you.
Until then, chin up, middle fingers down (most of the time), and remember you don't need to kiss anyone's career cushion to kick it.
So what's the moral of this story? Don't lose your soul in a place that only promotes people based on how well they polish their career cushion. Keep showing up for your dreams, not their fragile egos.
If you've ever had a Mangement team who treated your ambition like a personal threat-or if you've mastered the art of dodging sabotage with grace and petty sarcasm- drop a comment below and let me know. Misery may love company, but petty loves a story.
Follow for more hot takes, side-eye energy, and survival tips from the trenches. And tell your dream-chasing bestie to follow too-because solidarity looks better with backups.
Question of the week: What's the pettiest thing a toxic boss ever did to block your shine?
Spill the tea, I've got time and snacks!
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